Her.

Prediction. 

Could you predict how to encounter your desirable person in your own life? 

The thing is, it happens every time and forming 'on and off' situation. 

Sometimes, you know this person like the queen of your imagination , present herself like no one else can predict, however you are stunned, unable to step and to enter the line of decisive braveness. 

How could you leak the liquid of happiness when you are so afraid to face , or even to admire her. 

Sweetness and sincere, both mixed, and I have no capacity even to touch nor to lay my finger upon both of her best personality.

No one can replace her, but who am i to predict?

Fly, and one day I will present myself in front of you, stating the world-famous-three-word. 

I have no capacity to predict. 

I have capacity to put an effort. 

Kelvin Tan

25

25 and here I am.

There will be a time that you need to stop. and looking back to see how progressive you are. How sensitive you are, how mature you are, how bad you are, how good you are, and how blur you are.

Time to time, people expect something better in their life,and the good news is paths are provided.

The bad news is? You need to find the right path.

One wrong step and you will find your life ruined or at least wasting a couple of years.

Beware that time is your currency in this life.
Deposits of 86,400 seconds added and lost every single day.

19th January 2012 I have used 2,160,000 seconds in my life.

The question is, how will you spend your deposits?

Products are : relationship, money, or other life's aspect.

Be wise.

Because I haven't .

and not proud yet.

Kelvin Tan

Realistic Relationship

most of the people expects to have a good relationship with others

a husband expect to have a good understanding with his wife..

a woman always expect her boyfriend to love her.

a son always says :" my dad always care for me. He always love me."

But i have to say that those kind of relationship is unrealistic..

no matter how good people to you, how loving your wife to you, how care your parents to you, at some point, most likely, they will disappoint you. They will hurts your feeling.

unfortunately, when they makes some mistakes, we responded wrongly.

we tends to avoid them ,treat them like they irritates you..

and we focusing on their mistakes and weaknesses.

you have to give them a room to make a mistake. You have to give them a grace to be a human. They are not perfect, yet they did many mistakes.

I want to encourage you to overlook their weaknesses. Learn to look on their positive sides.. try that to your best friend that hurt you or your girlfriend that hurts your feelings, and you'll find a thousand positive sides of them and just a few negative sides.

I know sometimes is irritating..

Try to ask God to give you strength and patience in your relationship.

you always needs to involves God into your relationship.

Reaching Highest Potential

1st published in my blog in March 2008. 

It is easy to get stuck in our life. When we feel that we will never be more talented than the meantime and when we think that we have reached our limit. That is very untrue.

There are gifts and talent that you have not discovered. There is a hidden treasure buried on the inside.

When God created you, He is not only breathes His life into you, but He deposited a part of Himself into you. He put in you everything you need to fulfill your destiny. On the inside, you have seeds of greatness waiting to take roots and blossoms.

If we are going to step in to this hidden treasure, we have to have a pioneering spirits. Do not die with the treasure still buried. You have to unlock the treasures. You have talents and abilities that have not yet come out. My challenge to you: Do not die with the treasures still buried. We have to release the treasures.

Sometimes God will give you the exciting opportunities. May be one of you will be pointed as musician leader, new position of job, new career, or head of some certain projects..

Unfortunately, very often, we responds it in wrong way. Most of us will say,” I feel that I am not qualified”. “I have no talent in that fields”, “I am so nervous”, “I have no experience enough”.

You might feels that you can't do that, but when you step in that faith, God will help you and that is the time when the treasures will be unlocked and released. That is the only way to discover a new gift and talents that locked inside your body.

You have to step out of your “comfort zone” and step in to the “faith zone”.

Love in Past Continuous tense

In most attractive and most mesmerizing way, Love can be both attractive and long lasting. This mixed of emotional and empathy feeling are the main essence in every aspects of relationship in human life.

Mine,

1st Love happened in my life was about 8-9 years ago.

cheesy, emotional, expressive, nostalgic, and glorious day to remember.

Unfortunately, Childish mindset with a bit arrogance ruined everything, and makes me think that I was the most stupid person in the world for the last 7 years.

The worst thing is : I am still waiting.

The absence of Logic reasoning has written deeply in my brain since long time ago. Bundled with fear and fool, both of this elements and long-distant situation makes everything perfect for us to be separated. Tear me down to the level that so low I can barely to move on.

Life goes on, for sure.

This is one statement.

have you moved on?

That's a question.

A tough one.

Bias

A man have two choices in this life: High status Employee or Business Owner.

The contradictory of two choices above leaves us in paradox(ed) mind.. Risk and Security, Limited and Limitless, Stable and fluctuate, stagnant and dynamic.

High status employee presents us some high-style suit of man walking down the hall, charismatic, yet charming, with double suite jacket , shining shoes, and proud face. Periodically earned the same number of dollars, provided with many life-security packages (insurance, stock, car, or even house), and secured. Whether you are on-form in your career or you are out-form your sales statistic, you are still the man with the same number.

Yet, you have someone you call : Boss.

Business Owner : It's dynamic. limitless account, or in other words : you decide what you will earn. You are the boss. you are the business owner and the risk owner. Performing well in the business is a-must-scenario, or else , you will be labelled with one of the most famous terms in failure dictionary : Bankrupt.
or,
you outshine everyone with your luck (luck is the condition when good preparation meets good opportunity), and you earned limitless number of dollars.

Tough choice, I have to admit. Both of the ideas are not easy to conquer.

Then , people came up with this bright idea: to perform both of the paths gradually.

You work with certain company, you save the income you earned, you use the income to start your own business and equipped with knowledge, skills, and what-so-ever as your major resources to fulfill your entrepreneurship demand.

Looking at me now ..

Mediocre with nametag hanged on my shirt, earn mid-class income, and surely under someone I called : boss. By this condition, then I looked up on my same-level-age friend, with his/her entrepreneurship skill, successfully earned until 5-6 or even 10 times than me.

sad? regret? The only question came up with this fact is not about how you have to pursue the-10x-income-generator. It's about : Am I on the Right Path?

Bias ,isn't it?

I am now running as an executive representative of International logistic company. No subject other than Logistic can impress me this much.

I am working under someone I call : boss. Which in this condition, I view her as one of the smartest person in the industry, respected, wise, and the best mentor I've ever known.

I am working under one environment that provide flood-level of information and knowledge of almost all type of industries.

And lead me with one simple thought that end all my dilematic journey :

Do something that you are really passionate about. Something you love very much, and it will all be worth it.

and if one day I have to build my own business, it will be something that I love very much.

and then, like one of the most famous cartoon-movie in the world has advised me :

Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is mystery, and today is a gift ; that's why it called present.

The clocks are running, makes the most of today.

*Bias is an inclination to present or hold a partial perspective at the expense of (possibly equally valid) alternatives. Bias can come in many forms.

My life and whatsoever

I was thinking...

Quietly, in front of my desktop.
I was thinking about the past.
when I was in primary, Kindergarten, Junior High schools, and so on..

Have you heard about the contradiction of life-thinking in human ?
When we were a little we want to grow, and when we have grown we longed to be a little.


Yes, that is exactly what I feels now.
I have grown up. with 2-3double-k IDR and many business in my hand.
I am still looking for a job, though.

But, when I look back to my past and I was thinking "is this the life I expect when I was a little?"

well I hope so.

This is the fact :

I was entering One social organization , everyone supports me to do great things in there. I have done many good things and proudly leading some events. I have formed some group and I have maintain it for 1 year or so.
But now? I have never attended the group, and instantly the group was gone now.
I failed to do the projects that under my responsibility.
And now, I know that I will never be trusted again and back to point zero.



I am just afraid that .. I havent made and will not take any steps for a long time.
I saw my friends in great path and steps. They are steady, finding themselves comfortable with their speciality. some of them have done great things while some of them still growing.

And look the place where I sit now.. at home. jobless. with failed business in my hand.


Sometimes, I just want to be back into my child age.
Sometimes, I just want to play my life like video games. with the reset button ready-to-push if you failed.


Sometimes..

On Her Knee

auch.
I dropped my Ice cream,
you picked it up anyway.

damn!
I broke the lamp,
but you cleaned it up.

I forgot the textbook,
and you found it on time in giving it to me
while the distance is far enough to make you exhausted.

My grade dropped like a stock in Dowjones,
and you cheer me up
Found me a hope
that gathered Just in time when I lost the hope.

The girls came in
The new part in my life

I began to share about her
talking about her all the time without paying attention to you.

The girl now is stepping out
breaking my heart
like a breeze smashing the rocks in the seashore.

Broken-hearted person. Feel alone and not realizing,
you were still there.

Now I have stepped out from the 15 year-old-bond named education
You were the first one to hug me,
But I rather throwing a party with my friend.

Now I am working.
getting arrogant.
Busy
and easily angry.

Not letting her entering the hectic-business-world.
without realizing, she is still making me a meals.
breakfast.

Now.
In the night
I heard her praying for me.

I can't hear properly and clearly.
But that moment
when she on her knee
in the middle of light-less room.
she asked God to bless me and to protect me.

It is common for the believer family.
But for me...

That is the greatest moment I've ever seen in my life.
I can ask no more to God.


I love you
Mom.

Koremagz, Valentine 2009

Koremagz.
An inspirational and religious magazine for GKI Muara Karang. This magazine is made for the teens and participant in the church.

Well, This is the 10th issue for Koremagz and we will launch it approximately 1 day after valentines day (February 15th, 2009).

22nd...

Yesterday was a big day.. at least for me..

The sun rises as usual, the birds harmonize their song with the wind.
It was a sunny day in rainy season.
I works 9 to 5 to complete my 1-day-routine.

I woke up in the morning and found 10 messages contains all the birthday greetings in my inbox .
the same thing happened when I checked my facebook.
It feels good when everyone is still put a concern about you.

however,, there are only several people that is willing to take time to discuss about my future, plans, works, job, serious matter... haizz.. that is the only topic that always stuck up in my mind ..

well, late at night, a bunch of lovely fellowship " surprise "me with the cake and candle.
The funniest part is they seems more surprised than I am. hahahaha


anyway

Thank you guys.

Big Difference - Unknown source

pics taken from deviantart


The Boss drives his men, The Leader inspires them..
The Boss depends on authority, The Leader depends on goodwill..
The Boss evokes fear, The Leader radiates love..
The Boss says "I", The Leader says "We"..
The Boss shows who is wrong, The Leader shows what is wrong..
The Boss knows how it is done, The Leader knows how to do it..
The Boss demands respect, The Leader commands respect..

Trees That Wood -unknown

Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods. They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty."

Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull."

Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me."

After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter" ... and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.

At the second tree a woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.

When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree so I'll take this one", and he cut it down.

When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for. The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end. The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark. The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.

Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time. Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said "Peace" and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.

Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.

The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined. We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.

A Million Dollar Lesson by: Petey Parker, Heart At Work

A cab driver taught me a million dollar lesson in customer satisfaction and expectation. Motivational speakers charge thousands of dollars to impart his kind of training to corporate executives and staff. It cost me a $12 taxi ride.

I had flown into Dallas for the sole purpose of calling on a client. Time was of the essence and my plan included a quick turnaround trip from and back to the airport. A spotless cab pulled up. The driver rushed to open the passenger door for me and made sure I was comfortably seated before he closed the door. As he got in the driver's seat, he mentioned that the neatly folded Wall Street Journal next to me was for my use. He then showed me several tapes and asked me what type of music I would enjoy. Well! I looked around for a "Candid Camera!" Wouldn't you? I could not believe the service I was receiving! I took the opportunity to say, "Obviously you take great pride in your work. You must have a story to tell."

"You bet," he replied, "I used to be in Corporate America. But I got tired of thinking my best would never be good enough. I decided to find my niche in life where I could feel proud of being the best I could be. I knew I would never be a rocket scientist, but I love driving cars, being of service and feeling like I have done a full day's work and done it well. I evaluate my personal assets and... wham! I became a cab driver. One thing I know for sure, to be good in my business I could simply just meet the expectations of my passengers. But, to be GREAT in my business, I have to EXCEED the customer's expectations! I like both the sound and the return of being 'great' better than just getting by on 'average'"

Did I tip him big time? You bet! Corporate America's loss is the travelling folk's friend!

the picture taken form deviantart.com

"Want to!", by: Neil Eskelin

pic taken from deviantart..

I remember the night in Miami when our son, Ian, was just five years old. We were staying with relatives and it was his bedtime. When I looked at the living room floor, I knew we had a problem. Toys were all over the place. "Ian," I said, "you need to pick up all those toys before you go to bed."

"Daddy," he said, "I'm too tired to pick up my toys."

My immediate inclination was to force him to clean up the room. Instead, I went into the bedroom, laid down, and said, "Ian, come here. Let’s play Humpty Dumpty."

He climbed up on my knees and I said, "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall." And he fell. Ian laughed and said, "Let's do it again." Well, after the third "fall," I said, "Okay, but first go pick up those toys."

Without thinking, he ran into the living room and in ninety seconds he finished a job that could have taken half an hour. Then he jumped back on my knees and repeated, "Daddy, let’s do it again."

"Ian, I thought you were too tired to pick up those toys." He answered, "I was, daddy, but I just wanted to do this!"

We can finish any job when we have the "Want to!"

That's not my Job- unknown author

This's a story about four people: Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody have done.

the picture taken form deviantart.com

I hope so

"In times..when I feel so lonely..
you were there.. to hold my hands"

It's the lyrics of one of my favorites song.
Tell us about friendship and how friends can be tower of strength when you were in desperation state.

How ironic.. I feels alone now..
But don't be mistaken.. Many friends came to me try to give me an input, advise, opinion, and offering some helps.

However, nothings of that can help me now..

I feels confuse and sad.
I even want to go somewhere where I can get free from all of this burdening problems.
Anywhere!
I will pay for that..

Sometimes I cried in midnight.. try to talk to the Almighty.
asking for a help, clue, or any hints that can lead me in this Grey area.
asking for something that I can use to overcome all of the stressful things.

My head is banging now.. my heart is keep beating hard. .
I am happy that I have my friends care for me.
I am happy that I have my friends cheering me up and offering some helps.
I am happy.. yet.. I don't think it will help me..

It's December now..
back 2-3 years ago, this is the month that I have waited for so long..
I can celebrate it.. do many things to arrange the event for church..
gathered with my friends, pray together, sing together, and spend a time together..
I am as happy as I could be and I didn't have any thing burdening me.

Now, I am entering the "special month" with a thousand of problem in my head..
I can hardly smile now..

Now,, all I have to do is to keep my faith .. keep my strength.. hoping that God did something special for me.. Hoping that God is arranging something "big" for me..

I hope so..

Lucky..

Lucky,
There is a tears in this world.
Tears that will help you to refresh your heart and mind.
Tears that will help you when you need God beside you.
Tears is the symbols of hope in desperation.
You were crying because you need someone.

Lucky,
There will be always Someone that sitting next to you when you cried.
Someone that always be named in your pray.
A pray in the night.. and with tears you were calling His name.
You were begging and begging
waiting for Him to really came down from heaven.
Hold your hands, and hug you.

Lucky,
From the first time you were born, you need only a pray to be connected to Him.
Connected when you need someone.
Connected when the world around you is really out of your control.
Connected when everyone around you has closed the line with you.

It is really Lucky,
to have Jesus in your life.

It is lucky,
to have a desperation
a stressful situation
and a never ending confusion.

Lucky because you will reach Him at last.
Lucky because finally, you will really be connected with Him.



Lucky..

That zone.

starts with spinning to roving, little bit about cotton.
I get through with all textile-things.
Makes me mad and wanna scream .

Hope that the scream can reach the sky
Telling the Mighty God, that I have enough.

In desperate telling everyone that this is not right.
Then, it reach me.
The answer.

I am screaming again. The scream of happiness.
I rebuild my spirits, motivation, and mood.
Think that this is the right plane. The right track.
Everything seems good when I stepped in to that zone.

however,
For some reason..
I just can not stand it anymore

To be honest
I dont have what so called Pressure-Resistance.

I feel like I dont belong being downliner.
I just...
have my own dream
my own Idea and purpose.

The faith zone
My faith zone.

But somehow, when I reached to step and entering the zone
I feels like evryone turned against my decision.

Somehow... The worst condition of in this world is The condition without a decision.

I was bounded in the misery of pain.
A pain that covered perfectly in the knitted yarn of income.

Hope that someday

one day

I can step in brave to enter my faith zone.

Tears in 16 degrees..

A joke.
I Need that.

A smile.
I also need that.

A cheer.
I desperate for that.

A friend to share..
I would give anything for that.


Now I am sitting in the front of magic-monitor.
Rainy, outside, playing the drum of storm.
Harmonize with the raindrops.

It is 16 degrees and I am dizzy with the Influenza airborne attack.

Tears started to fell from eyes to neck.
The world seems bigger.
Standing in the front.
a step ahead , bring you the trap, misery, hatred, and harbinger.

I just couldn't understand.
The quadratic equation,
and the substitution of triple variables seems more simple.

The pressure is hard.
My brain squeezed and I am turning in the circle of dizziness.

No...Nooo! that is not the problem.
I can take complicated things.

I can stand against all of the world.

I can run till the last breath.

I can do anything as far as I live.



What I can not resist is....

No one....
in the meantime...
says ,"I'm on your side."

I am alone in the most destructive situation.
The situation when you can not decide anything.
and the situation when none of your friend understand. .

who's on my side?

retreat..?

It was not the best day in my life.
The pressure, and the chronicles of bad situation keep happening to me.

Not to mention the hectic-ness and the severe acute-kind of problems in works.
It was rainy after all.
Stand up, find the harmony, but you are facing down the great wall of China.

Be strong, be courageous , but you are facing the whole world stood up against you.
Get out and all of the universe pointing at you as a coward.
You are in the position of no one can help you.

your hands are shaking cold.
your head banging with the melody of big-bang.

And you realized... maybe this is the limit.
should I quit?
should I leave this situation?
Should I be a coward?

Nothings wrong being a coward.
Coward is an art.
an escapee.
But the escapee never becoming strong.

I just hope that
someday
an angel can come to me.

an angel doesn't always to have a wing.
doesn;t has to be in magnificent form.

what makes an angel is,
when she can help you when you were down.

help me, so that I won;t be an escapee.