"In times..when I feel so lonely..
you were there.. to hold my hands"
It's the lyrics of one of my favorites song.
Tell us about friendship and how friends can be tower of strength when you were in desperation state.
How ironic.. I feels alone now..
But don't be mistaken.. Many friends came to me try to give me an input, advise, opinion, and offering some helps.
However, nothings of that can help me now..
I feels confuse and sad.
I even want to go somewhere where I can get free from all of this burdening problems.
Anywhere!
I will pay for that..
Sometimes I cried in midnight.. try to talk to the Almighty.
asking for a help, clue, or any hints that can lead me in this Grey area.
asking for something that I can use to overcome all of the stressful things.
My head is banging now.. my heart is keep beating hard. .
I am happy that I have my friends care for me.
I am happy that I have my friends cheering me up and offering some helps.
I am happy.. yet.. I don't think it will help me..
It's December now..
back 2-3 years ago, this is the month that I have waited for so long..
I can celebrate it.. do many things to arrange the event for church..
gathered with my friends, pray together, sing together, and spend a time together..
I am as happy as I could be and I didn't have any thing burdening me.
Now, I am entering the "special month" with a thousand of problem in my head..
I can hardly smile now..
Now,, all I have to do is to keep my faith .. keep my strength.. hoping that God did something special for me.. Hoping that God is arranging something "big" for me..
I hope so..
